Master-love

Giving out ?Extortionate?付出?苛索?

By Guest Author, Starry (Chinese to English translation by Starry + Lala) 

By: 嘉賓作者, Starry (中文翻譯至英語 by Starry + Lala)

*on romantic love / 愛情

 

 

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Can we say that when two persons are dating, one finds the other too extortionate, whilst in fact, the one that complains simply dose not want to put the same level of effort to the relationship as the ‘extortionate one’?

當一方覺得你太苛索令自己感覺到有壓力,會不會其實是因為你自己沒有對方那麽著緊,也沒有那麽願意在這個感情中付出呢?

 

We always want to be the centre of our own little world, we see how much effort we have put in, we see how much we have sacrificed. Yet, if the other half may not even realise, and so, could it be that it is simply because one has failed to put in a sufficient level of effort into the relationship, or, in fact, we are right to insist that we have done good enough and it is just him/her being too demanding?

我們永遠也是自己世界的主角,很容易看到自己的付出,看到自己的犧牲。但是,如果對方看不到,是不是代表我們的付出其實是不足夠,或者我們還要堅持自己沒有錯只是對方太苛求?

 

I have heard many stories of first-love, one side in the story says: ‘I regret that I did not cherish him/her, or, I regret that I have ignored his/her feelings. So, does it mean that sometimes the seeming-over-demanding requests our other half made might actually be objectively justifiable?

我聽過很多初戀的故事,故事中總有一方會說:我後悔自己那時候不夠珍惜他/她,或是,我後悔那時候自己漠視他/她的感受。這樣是不是證明對方的要求也可能是合理呢?

 

There’s a saying goes: when you point out your finger at the other person and says your blaming words, you have the other 4 fingers turning back to criticise your own-self.

我忽然想起一個說法,當你指著別人的鼻子講人不是時,有四隻手指頭是向著自己。

 

Perhaps, when we each time get a different role to play, we have to remind ourselves that we have to think in the other half’s prior intention, not to criticise the other half from a reverse kind of attitude. When we decide to turn a cold shoulder to what him/her say, possibly behind his/her smile, he/she has already started bleeding deep down inside them?

或許,當我們處於不同的角色時,我們應該提醒一下自己要反過來想一想對方的出發點,而不是已經已一個敵對的角度去批評對方。當我們對對方的感受和要求冷眼旁觀時,可能在微笑的底下,對方的心也在淌著血。

 

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