Master-love

Same; Different 相同。不同。

mzl-chdvoxci

 

By Guest Author, Starry (Chinese to English translation by Lala) 

By: 嘉賓作者, Starry (中文翻譯至英語 by Lala)

*on romantic love / 愛情

 

Some say, a person should date someone who is different from herself to ‘fill in the gaps’, i.e. strengths and weaknesses; this shall apply to people where one out of the two has a personality that is rather ‘tough’ in particular, because otherwise, they will clash against each other, and then get stuck together in pain. Some others also say, when 2 persons of varied types of different personality traits  get put together may bring about agony, especially if the two are heading for a long term commitment up to the stage of marriage; too many differences create troubles, because marriages represent having a common affair between two families.

有人話,我們應該跟一個跟自己不同的人一起,可以互相補足;尤其是”性格強”的,便更加應該找一個不同的人,要不然便會“火星撞地球“,相處起來會很辛苦。又有人說,各種的不同可以讓兩個人相處很痛苦;尤其如果希望長遠一起的話甚至要談婚論嫁的話,婚姻畢竟是兩個家庭的事情,太多不同只會造成辛苦。

 

So, is it better to be same or to be different?

到底相同還是不同比較好呢?

 

Contradiction in fact can be caused by both similarity and differentiation in terms of personality. If two persons who are in a relationship are both strong holders, sticking to their own values and rules uptight, and yet their values and rules aren’t the same, for sure, they would experience tons of contradictory matters. Like this, it may be that only where one whose personality is not as strong (different) than the other that between the two, their relationship will work out instead.

相同和不同也可以造成矛盾。如果兩個一樣是很有原則的人在一起,但是大家的原則不同的話,一定會造成很多矛盾,這樣或許跟一個性格沒有那麽強的人一起(不同)會比較好吧!

 

 

As you know, things in life just aren’t that simple. Even those whose values, personality and the way to deal with things are the same, they don’t necessarily comprehend each other whey they are in a relationship. In contrast, those who are different when coming together may understand each other, just like how each member of a same family usually bears a particular personal trait which differs from the rest in the family, and yet, some of them find their ways that enable them to live with the other members in harmony under the same roof.

但是,事情是不是那麽絕對呢?就算是價值觀、性格和處事手法相同的人相處的時候也可能不會諒解對方。反而,不同的人相處之間也不一定沒有體諒,譬如家庭中往往有不同性格的人,但是有一些人也找到跟自己家人融洽相處的方法。因此,我覺得其實沒有比較好或者不好,最後也是要看兩個人的配合吧!

 

Perhaps we will agree that however different things are,  when two persons come together, at the least they should have something in common. Each person in a couple may hold tight to things that are so different from the other one. So I have a friend, who places great emphasis and attention to his other half in terms of her appearance and gesture, as well as her words and deeds, and even would try to test her manner in advance. Me and my friends used to think that his behaviour means that he dose not love the other one / or not love the other one to a sufficient degree.Yet, recently I have a brand new thought to this matter. For him, this may be what he thinks as the thing in common that has no exception to be altered. Well, this is his choice after all. Like each of us has something that we want to insist on, should it be moral value, manner, the love for kids, or family background. If so, on what grounds am I to judge the others? This may be why many outsiders express that one shall not comment on the what goes on in the relationships of the others.

或許我們也會認同,無論其他東西多麽不同,兩個人在一起,總需要有某一些事情是相同的。而每一個人在這一方面執著的東西也可能很不同。我有一個朋友,非常執著另一半的儀表和言行,並在跟對方一起前會先測試對方的禮儀。我和我的朋友曾經也覺得他可這樣的行為是表示了他其實是不愛/未夠愛對方。但是,我最近有不一樣的領悟。這個可能就是他覺得一定要相同的地方吧!這個是他的選擇。正如我們每一個人也有選擇堅持要相同的地方,或許是價值觀,或許是要有禮貌,或許是要喜歡小孩子,或許是家庭背景。這樣的話,我又憑什麽質疑其他人呢? 這個或許就是很多人說外人不應該評論其他人的感情的原因吧。

 

What are your thoughts then?

你又怎麽想呢?

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