Master-key

Getting philosophical 哲學入門

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babysitting Yannis

As now I have so much time without baby Yannis around to do my babysitting, I want to come up with answers to questions I think depression patients would tend to ask and feel traumatised about. So I will get a bit technical this time, to talk more on the link I see between depression and philosophy/religious studies.  Sorry that this post is gonna be quite long!

由於我現在不用給小baby Yannis托兒,我要找到那些我認為抑鬱症患者往往會問及感到創傷的問題的答案。所以,今次我會可能有點技術性的去說,多談我對抑鬱症和哲學/宗教研究之間的關係。這個帖子會是相當長的,Sorry!

 

The art, or the annoying thing about philosophy and religious studies is that there is no definite answers/open to any interpretations, and I bore with such subjects for 2 years. (Not sure which public exam you did exactly in order to graduate from secondary high school, I did the U.K. A-levels, and one subject in which I took was ‘Religious Studies & Philosophy’). Before I write more, let me point out the slight difference between philosophy and religious studies, as well as the interaction between them.

關於哲學和宗教研究的藝術,或者是說煩人的事,就是不會有明確的答案/開放於任何解釋,而我居然花了2年在這樣的科目上。(不太知道您為了從中學高中畢業考什麼公開考試,我念的是英國A-levels課程,其中一個科目就是’宗教研究與哲學’)。在我寫更多東西之前,讓我指出它們之間的細微差別,以及其相互的關係。

 

Philosophy asks questions such as, is this world infinite (yes, then you talk about the Big Bang theory and the black hole). You can also ask if there is life after death, then this philosophical question can invite religious studies to the scene, which means you can use the religious teaching that you buy to give your answer to the philosophical question, e.g. you can say there is a life in heaven after death because it is written in the Bible. Religious studies, as the name suggests, is to learn about different kinds of religions, which is theology at university level.

哲學可以問這樣的問題,這個世界是否無限的(無錯,那麼請您談談宇宙大爆炸理論和黑洞)。你也可以詢問是否有死後的生命/重生,那麼這個哲學問題就可以邀請宗教研究加入討論,這意味著你可以使用你讚同的宗教去給你自己回答這個哲學問題,例如,你可以說有,因為寫在聖經上,你就認為死後有天堂的生命。宗教研究,顧名思義,就是要了解不同的宗教,這是在大學念的,叫做神學的課程。

 

When many depression patients ask if our existence is wrong, it means in other words: philosophically speaking, what is the purpose of life? In ‘Depression&Me 抑鬱症&我‘, I remembered how due to missing my love ones I gave up on suicide. Then again I tried to figure out whether my existence is wrong in ‘Relapse 舊病復發‘ .

當許多抑鬱症患者問,我們的存在是否錯誤的,這換句話說:哲學上,生命的目的是什麼?在 「Depression&Me 抑鬱症&我」 ,我記得我說因為想念我愛的人,所以放棄了自殺。然後我在 「Relapse 舊病復發」 試圖找出我的存在是否錯誤。

 

Today without the need to talk about philosophical theories, I think the answer is as simple as that: to love and to be loved. Words cannot describe the greatness of love. There is the love I receive from those who care about me when I was lost in each of my emotional breakdown, neither could I describe how great it was for me to have the capacity to love them in return.

到今天,沒有必要談論哲學理論,我認為答案是這樣簡單:愛與被愛。我無法用言語形容愛的偉大。當我每次迷失在情緒失控當中,我感受到關心我的人的愛,也不能形容讓我可以去知道愛,可以回報般的也愛他們。

 

If a depression patient has a belief that there is a greater force up there, so the ‘boss’ of their religion, I think 9/10 of us will ask, has this greater force forgotten or abandoned us. This is to ask, religiously speaking, why has the greater force allowed suffering (depression) to take place on us. When I was studying for my A-levels exam, I remember I memorised many different religion based theories. There is this philosopher (I forgot his name LOL) saying that we need to suffer in order to identify the different between good and bad; St Augustine made reference to the bible that suffering shall happen due to Adam & Eve. I think for this question, the answer has to be personal.

如果一個抑鬱症患者相信有一個更大的力量在他們之上,他們宗教的’老闆’,我覺得我們9/10個人都會問,這個更大的力量忘記或拋棄了我們嗎。這是在問,宗教上,為什麼這更大的力量讓苦難煎熬(抑鬱症)發生在我們身上。當我為我的A-levels課程考試做準備,我記得我記住許多不同的以宗教為基礎的理論。有位哲學家(我忘了他的名字LOL)說,我們需要受苦,以確定好的和壞之間的不同; 聖奧古斯丁提到聖經,說苦難發生是由於亞當和夏娃。我想對於這個問題,答案只可因個人而言

 

Yet one thing for sure, please seek the appropriate medical treatment as to get the possibility to put an end to the suffering you face, just like how I have to attend my psychiatrist appointment weekly.

然而,有一件事是肯定的,請尋求適當的醫療,去給自己有可能性,去制止你所面對的痛苦,就像我會乖乖的每週一次去看醫生。

 

Next, I personally see a link between my clinical depression and Christianity.

接下來,我想說我認為我的抑鬱症和基督教之間有著的聯繫。

 

Psalm 42:3        My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day           long, “Where is your God?”

詩篇 42:3           我晝夜以眼淚當飲食,人不住地對我說:「你的神在哪裡呢?」

I would be inclined to draw biblical reference to the question about suffering. I had asked God if  He wanted to condemn me so I have depression, or He simply forgot about me and let the devil seized hold of me.

我會傾向用聖經去回答關於痛苦的問題。我曾問上帝,他要問罪於我,就讓我有抑鬱症吧,又或者他只是忘了我,讓魔鬼抓了我走。

 

In ‘Sorceress&Transgender 神婆&變性人‘, I came to my own personal conclusion that I just could not explain why God allowed depression to find me, but I don’t intend to find the answer, because of Ecc 3:11 ; I don’t think God has forgotten me or handed me over to the devil, as I personally think that should this be true, I will be either having people to visit my grave right now, or at least not even in the transition period (please refer to ‘Depressed transition 抑鬱過渡期‘ + ‘Still in transition 還在過渡中‘).

在 「Sorceress&Transgender 神婆&變性人」,我個人結論,就是我是無法解釋為何上帝允許抑鬱症找上我,但我不打算去尋找答案,因為傳道書3:11; 我不認為上帝已經忘記了我或是把我交給魔鬼,因為我個人認為,這要是真實的話,我要不就有人們現在給我掃墓,或至少不能進入過渡期( 請參閱「 Depressed transition 抑鬱過渡期 」+「 Still in transition 還在過渡中 」)。

Ecc 3:11            He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, He has put eternity into man’s heart, yet no one can find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

傳道書3:11     神造萬物,各按其時成為美好,又將永生安置在世人心裡,然而神從始至終的作為,人不能參透。

 

Then I found out I basically reiterated my religious faith in ‘Trust or Distrust 相信和不相信‘, but out of it I also expressed that I am reluctant to go to church/be in religious community regularly anymore. For people who may be urging me to go to church again in the future (I am not saying that I swear that I won’t go back one day),  I now give my justification. In Hebrews  10:25, I see the meeting for the purpose to uphold the Christian faith does not have to be going to Sunday services, because of Matthews 18:20. I figure out that I will listen to sermon recordings online, and will seek my close Christian friends on bible studies matter.

後來我發現我基本上在「 Trust or Distrust 相信和不相信 」重申了我的宗教信仰,但我也表示我不願意定期去教堂/在宗教團體。大家可能會催促我將來再次去教堂(我不是說我發誓我不會有回去的一天),我現在說一下我的理由。在希伯來書10:25,我想,為了堅守基督教信仰這目的而去的聚會不一定是去做禮拜,因為馬太福音 18:20。我會聆聽網上的講道錄音,並且會尋求我親密的基督徒朋友去說聖經學習的事。

Hebrews  10:25     not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

希伯來書 10:25      你們不可停止聚會、 好像那些停止慣了的人、 倒要彼此勸勉. 既知道那日子臨近、 就更當如此。

Matthews 18:20    For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

馬太福音18:20       因為無論在那裡、 有兩三個人奉我的名聚會、 那裡就有我在他們中間。

 

Wish you all a peaceful and joyful mind!

祝大家有平靜和快樂的心境!

❤ Lala

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