My friend, pen name ‘Caterpillar’ wrote for the blog our first article on romantic love, as posted below. Any queries and comments, please PM our Facebook page! (Hope my Chinese translation makes sense too LOL)
*on romantic love / 愛情
Yes, I was dumped. I felt unwanted although my family and close friends were with me during that time. It was tough especially when someone whom you have relied on so much suddenly wants to stop everything with you.
How sad I felt? I can summarise as below:
1. Waking on the street feeling / sitting on a chair but I felt like I fall down (I realised not everyone get what I mean when I said this). It’s like I was standing properly/ sitting firmly, but my heart or rather I feel that my body was falling. My best friend told me to hold her hand tight when I have that feeling. I remember I had that feeling when I was drinking
2. Driving on the way to yoga classes but tears were falling non-stop
3. Face has no expression at all (I was at home during that period but I didn’t want my parents to worry about me. I didn’t cry in front of them, I cried alone at night) I thought they won’t notice. No, I was wrong. My face had no expression and I didn’t talk at home coz I just don feel like talking.
I am going to share how I spend my first 6 months after the breakup.
First two months- texted him everyday to remind how much I love him with the hope that he will show his sympathy to me and get back with me. I was totally wrong.
首兩個月: 我天天都給他發短訊，去提醒他我有多愛他，抱著他會同情我的希望。我原來錯得徹底 。
3rd month- one of my close friends recommended me to use wechat to find guy friends to chat with. It’s called “people nearby” in the wechat. In case you don’t know how it works (which I’m pretty sure a lot of people doesn’t know), I’m going to tell you how it works. Once u click in “people nearby”, other people that are using the same/ has clicked in “people nearby” will be able to see ur profile. I put a relatively “cute” photo so that more guys will add me.
I was not using the app to look for a boyfriend. Instead, I used it to distract myself. I won’t feel excited when there are guys added me or texted me. But at least I felt wanted. They (those wechat guys) texted me everyday, mostly asking me these following questions:
1. How are you doing, pretty?
2. I miss you baby (pretty disgusting right, since the fact is that I have never seen him)
3. When can I see you?
4. Come out for yamcha (which I did, ONCE- and I went with my friend. This wechat friend actually becomes one of my hang-out friends nowadays)
5. Blah blah blah…
Deep down, I know I don like these guys. Chatting with them made me feel like I’m “cheap”. But now I know that way helped me to walk out from the breakup.
Disclamation: I NEVER add any guy, it’s them who added me. (I’m not that messy after all lol) (I won’t judge u if you add any guy in wechat, but I hope u won’t judge me for using wechat to distract myself). I must say this, wechat “people nearby” is DANGEROUS because you don know who they are and what they want. I was lucky as the one I went yamcha with is a nice guy. But not everyone is that lucky! Just be extra careful when they ask u out or what. Normal texting is perfectly fine!
Frankly speaking, wechat distraction worked! At the moment, I have not been using wechat “people nearby” for almost 3 months.
I forced myself to look for a job earlier too! Working is another good distraction too. I met nice colleagues and you know what, I actually anticipate to go working nowadays!
Also, my close friend hugs me from time to time because she knows how one hug can cure any mood swing. I need to thank her too for being there when I need her the most.
What else did I do?
1. Went out drinking almost every night. I drank almost every night, but I didn’t let myself got drunk (NOT EVEN ONCE). Why did I drink? I liked the tipsy feeling? Maybe. But I guess the main reason is I need to distract myself and I don wan to stay at home. Time passed faster when I was outside. So by the time when I reached home, I can prepare myself to bed and I won’t have much time to think about my breakup at night)
2. Started baking a lot
3. Started organising a lot events for myself
4. Joined service organisation and now I’m an active member and the upcoming secretary! (Yay, I have found another group of friends!)
I know you (as reader) might judge me. You are definitely welcomed to do so. But I’m really glad to say that I’m now almost fully discovered.
Things to say to my ex- thanks for appearing in my life before and thanks for not being part of my future. I appreciate that you let go of us. I have found more since then- family, friends and myself!
Extra advice- don lose yourself while trying to love someone. I did that and I “fell down” badly! Breakup is heart-breaking but you will realise the breakup will make you stronger. After all, he doesn’t deserve to have any of your love. Be yourself, as no one else can!!! *hugs hugs*