Master-love

How to get over a past relationship? 如何走出那已成過去的愛?

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By Illustrator Koala Bear

My friend, pen name ‘Caterpillar’ wrote for the blog our first article on romantic love, as posted below. Any queries and comments, please PM our Facebook page! (Hope my Chinese translation makes sense too LOL)

我的朋友,筆名“Caterpillar”給我們博客寫下有關浪漫愛情的第一篇文章,刊登如下。如有任何疑問和意見,請PM我們的Facebook頁面!(希望我的中文翻譯可以理解吧 LOL)

❤ Lala

*on romantic love / 愛情

 

Yes, I was dumped. I felt unwanted although my family and close friends were with me during that time. It was tough especially when someone whom you have relied on so much suddenly wants to stop everything with you.

沒錯,我被甩了。雖然當時我的家人和好朋友都在我身邊,我還是覺得我是沒人要的。當一個你非常依賴的人突然要將所有和自己有關的東西都斬斷,這可是多麼的痛苦。

 

How sad I felt? I can summarise as below:

1. Waking on the street feeling / sitting on a chair but I felt like I fall down (I realised not everyone get what I mean when I said this). It’s like I was standing properly/ sitting firmly, but my heart or rather I feel that my body was falling. My best friend told me to hold her hand tight when I have that feeling. I remember I had that feeling when I was drinking

2. Driving on the way to yoga classes but tears were falling non-stop

3. Face has no expression at all (I was at home during that period but I didn’t want my parents to worry about me. I didn’t cry in front of them, I cried alone at night) I thought they won’t notice. No, I was wrong. My face had no expression and I didn’t talk at home coz I just don feel like talking.

究竟我是有多傷心呢。我可以在下面總結一下:

1.走在街上/坐在椅子上,我卻覺得我就在往下沉(我知道不是每個人都可以明白我的意思)。就是說我明明好好的站立著/坐得穩穩的,我的心又或者是我的身體在下降。我最好的朋友告訴我每當有這感覺,我就去緊緊抓著她的手。我記得我有這感覺時是我在喝酒的時候吧!

2.我在駕車往上瑜珈課的地方,眼淚卻不止地流下。

3.失去了任何面部表情(我那段期間在家裏,我不想讓父母擔心,我就沒有在他們面前掉眼淚。我自己一個在夜裡落淚)。我以為他們不會察覺。不是的,我想錯了。我沒有面部表情和我沒有在家裏說話,因為我不想開口。

 

I am going to share how I spend my first 6 months after the breakup.

First two months- texted him everyday to remind how much I love him with the hope that he will show his sympathy to me and get back with me. I was totally wrong.

我會說說我在失戀後的首六個月是怎樣渡過的。

首兩個月: 我天天都給他發短訊,去提醒他我有多愛他,抱著他會同情我的希望。我原來錯得徹底 。

 

3rd month- one of my close friends recommended me to use wechat to find guy friends to chat with. It’s called “people nearby” in the wechat. In case you don’t know how it works (which I’m pretty sure a lot of people doesn’t know), I’m going to tell you how it works. Once u click in “people nearby”, other people that are using the same/ has clicked in “people nearby” will be able to see ur profile. I put a relatively “cute” photo so that more guys will add me.

第三個月: 我的其中一位密友推介我去用微訊來找一些男生聊聊天。是叫做「搜尋附近朋友」的微訊功能。以防你不知道這是怎麼運作(我也蠻確定很多人不知道),我會給你解釋。當你按下該「搜尋附近朋友」,其他一樣用/按下「搜尋附近朋友」的人就可以看到你的頭像資料。我放了一張比較「可愛」的相片所以會有更多男生加我好友。

 

I was not using the app to look for a boyfriend. Instead, I used it to distract myself. I won’t feel excited when there are guys added me or texted me. But at least I felt wanted. They (those wechat guys) texted me everyday, mostly asking me these following questions:

1. How are you doing, pretty?

2. I miss you baby (pretty disgusting right, since the fact is that I have never seen him)

3. When can I see you?

4. Come out for yamcha (which I did, ONCE- and I went with my friend. This wechat friend actually becomes one of my hang-out friends nowadays)

5. Blah blah blah…

我不是要用這個app來找男朋友。相反地,我用它來使自己分神。當有男生加我好友或給我訊息,我不會感到興奮。但最起碼,我感到我是被需要的。他們(那些微訊男生)每天給我發訊息,大部分都是問我以下的問題 :

  1. 你好嗎,美麗的你?
  2. BB我好想你(好噁心吧,我事實上從沒有跟他碰過面)。
  3. 我什麼時候可以見到你呀?
  4. 出來飲茶吧(我真的有赴約,「只有一次」,我是和朋友一起去的。這個飲茶朋友現在可變成我時常碰面的朋友)。
  5. 之類的。

 

Deep down, I know I don like these guys. Chatting with them made me feel like I’m “cheap”. But now I know that way helped me to walk out from the breakup.

在內心深處,我知道我並不喜歡那些男生。我覺得跟他們講話令我覺得自己「cheap」。但現在我知道這方法有幫助我走出失戀。

 

Disclamation: I NEVER add any guy, it’s them who added me. (I’m not that messy after all lol) (I won’t judge u if you add any guy in wechat, but I hope u won’t judge me for using wechat to distract myself). I must say this, wechat “people nearby” is DANGEROUS because you don know who they are and what they want. I was lucky as the one I went yamcha with is a nice guy. But not everyone is that lucky! Just be extra careful when they ask u out or what. Normal texting is perfectly fine!

聲明:我從沒有加任何男生好友,是他們加我的(我實際上沒那麼亂來啦LOL)(如果你在微訊上加任何男生,我不會批評你,但我希望你也不會批評我用「搜尋附近朋友」來讓自己分心)。我一定要說的是,微訊的「搜尋附近朋友」是「危險的」,因為你不知道對方是誰和想要什麼。我當時幸運,和我飲茶的男生是好人。但不是每個人也這樣的好運!總之當他們邀你外出見面和別的,要加倍小心。一般的短訊對話沒有什麼大不了!

 

Frankly speaking, wechat distraction worked! At the moment, I have not been using wechat “people nearby” for almost 3 months.

老實說,微訊分心可真的有效!現在這一刻,我已有三個月沒有用過微訊的「搜尋附近朋友」了。

 

I forced myself to look for a job earlier too! Working is another good distraction too. I met nice colleagues and you know what, I actually anticipate to go working nowadays!

我早前還迫自己去找工作!忙於工作也是分心好方法。我認識了友善的同事們,你知道嗎我現在還享往去上班呢!

 

Also, my close friend hugs me from time to time because she knows how one hug can cure any mood swing. I need to thank her too for being there when I need her the most.

還是就是,我的好朋友會時不時給我一個擁抱,因為她知道一個擁抱可以治療任何的情緒不穩。我也要謝謝她,在我最需要的時候在我身邊。

 

What else did I do?

我還做了什麼呢?

 

1. Went out drinking almost every night. I drank almost every night, but I didn’t let myself got drunk (NOT EVEN ONCE). Why did I drink? I liked the tipsy feeling? Maybe. But I guess the main reason is I need to distract myself and I don wan to stay at home. Time passed faster when I was outside. So by the time when I reached home, I can prepare myself to bed and I won’t have much time to think about my breakup at night)

2. Started baking a lot

3. Started organising a lot events for myself

4. Joined service organisation and now I’m an active member and the upcoming secretary! (Yay, I have found another group of friends!)

1. 我差不多每晚都出去喝酒,不過我沒有讓自己喝醉過(一次也沒有)。我為什麼喝酒呢?我喜歡那微醉的感覺吧?也許是。但我猜主要原因是因為我要自己分心,不想留在家裏。我在外面的時候,時間過得比較快。所以當我回到家的時候,我已經準備要睡覺,我在晚上就不會有時間去想我失戀的事了。

2. 我開始常常烘焙。

3. 開始給自己安排好多活動。

4. 加入了一個慈善組織,現在我是活躍的要員和會接下秘書一職!(好高興!我找到另一個圈子的朋友!)

 

I know you (as reader) might judge me. You are definitely welcomed to do so. But I’m really glad to say that I’m now almost fully discovered.

我知道你(作為一個讀者)可能會批評我。歡迎你這樣做。但我真的好開心的要說我現在都差不多完全康復了。

 

Things to say to my ex- thanks for appearing in my life before and thanks for not being part of my future. I appreciate that you let go of us. I have found more since then- family, friends and myself!

要跟我前度說的話- 謝謝你以前出現在我的生命裏,和謝謝你不再是我未來的一部分。我感激你讓我們都放手。我從此更發現-家人、朋友和我自己!

 

Extra advice- don lose yourself while trying to love someone. I did that and I “fell down” badly! Breakup is heart-breaking but you will realise the breakup will make you stronger. After all, he doesn’t deserve to have any of your love. Be yourself, as no one else can!!! *hugs hugs*

額外建議-當你去愛一個人的時候,不要迷失自己。我自己這樣做,我狠狠地「跌下來」!分手是很教人心疼,但你會發現分手使你更強!畢竟,他不值得可得到你任何一分的愛!做你自己,因為沒有人可以!!!*抱抱*

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