I guess many depression patients may be like me, came to a breaking point to seek suicide not only at a certain timing but longed for it repeatedly. I want to start off with what people can do in action if they happen to want to help a depression patient, depending on the stage the patient is at.
If someone is like the old me, being in the critical stage of burning with this fire of committing suicide, please don’t say these which I heard from others saying to me back then:
- ‘You can keep going/ You can do it’. -> I no longer want to do anything, and you are still pushing me?
- 「你可以繼續下去的/你可以做到的。」 – >我已經不再想做任何事了，你還在迫我？
- ‘You will go to hell but not heaven if you kill yourself.’ -> This is just so provoking, are you telling me that even God wants to condemn me to hell?
- 「如果你殺了自己你會去地獄，不是天堂。」- >這可真是如此發人深省，你告訴我，上帝也要處罰我到地獄？
- ‘How can you do this to your parents?’ -> This is why I want to die, to release my parents’ burden to have to take care of me.
- 「你怎麼能這樣對你的父母呢？」- >這就是為什麼我想死，釋放我父母要照顧我的負擔。
- ‘Do you think you are the only one who is under so much pressure? I do too. -> Fine, you are strong enough to face stress and I am not.
- 「你認為你是唯一有這麼大壓力的人嗎？ 我也是呢。」 – >很好，你可以堅強地面對壓力，我不可以。
There are many other things, but the principle idea is that, don’t say much. No jokes, because any random words can encourage the patient to decide to commit suicide immediately. The thing to do is to stay beside the patient, if ok then hug him.
What is the best to say? Just repeatedly tell the patient, ‘I love you, I care for you, I won’t leave you.’ This makes the patient believe that he should live to get indulged by the love he receives. Then when the patient is getting willing to listen to you, do it like how you would treat a little baby, ‘What about we try to see a doctor together and see how it goes?’
If the person is at a more mild stage, when he is open to talk to someone about his negative feelings, then you can be more direct to say things like, e.g. ‘Trust me that you will get better, and I am going through this with you’. Does it make sense? If not please leave me a comment.
By the way, don’t ever leave the patient with the chance of being alone ‘cos you never know when just unexpectedly, he wants to end his life without further thoughts or hesitation. Like in the news lately, quite a great number of Hong Kong students killed themselves, and sadly no one was in time to stop each of them at that very moment.